Broken Hearts and Colored Walls
by LoveAndFoxes
Summary: *ATTENTION: REPOST** What started out as ano innocent day between friends spirals into a twisted game of survival. Slash. Rated for rape, violence, and adult theme.
1. Prologue

White.  
That was all he saw. White walls, white sheets, and the ghostly white complection of his companion laying next to him, the steady sound of a heart moniter keeping time to the beat of his heart.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

He looked over at his broken friend, lying scarily still in the bed next to him, the almost peaceful look on his face disrupted by the purple and red bruises and contusions that now temporarily tatooed him. His face fell, and he felt tears begin the rim his emerald eyes as he thought back to the days previous events.

They started out so innocently, and he couldn't help but wonder how everything could have possibly spiraled out of control in such a small amount of time.

Kendal glanced around the room, letting out a spiteful chuckle at the white walls that confined and protected he and his friend.

_To think, _he thought_, this whole day started out with colored walls_.

-xxxxxxxxxx-  
Okay, so something happened and I had to repost.  
Same story, I'll update once people start reviewing.

Love and Foxes,  
Bethany Rene


	2. Paint Jobs and Denial

It had been a slow day; Gustavo decided to "throw the dogs a bone" and give the four boys a day off, (Whether it was out of the kindnest of his heart, or the fact that a new hamburger joint had just opened across the street, the boys didn't know, nor did they really care) giving them 24 harmony free hours to whatever they pleased. Being the more ambitious of the bunch, James and Carlos opted to scope out the local beaches for new girls, who, as they put it, "didn't realize the stress of Hollywood, and needed a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on."

Not that it mattered to Kendal or Logan; the two had been pals since before James and Carlos ever got into the picture, and ever since the move to Hollywood, they hadn't had any "dude time" with just the two of them, and Kendal was as excited as ever (maybe more than he should, though he would never admit) to kick back with his best friend and spend a quiet, relaxing day together.

4 hours of intense video game battles, potato chip eating contests, and "guess the smell," Ms. Knight, with Katie in tow, entered the boys shared bedroom.

"Boys, I'm taking Katie to get headshots, and then to an audition, so we'll be back sometime tonight. Behave, alright?" Ms. Knight announced, eager to leave the room in order to breathe air that hadn't already been contaminated by said "guess the smell," game. The boys grunted half heartedly in recognition of her requests, before plopping down on the bed they were both occupying.

They sat in silence for a good while, earning a questioning look from Kendal. Logan's only quiet when he's thinking, he thought.

"Hey, Logie," Kendal asked, proping himself up on his forearms to look at his friend, "what are you thinking about?"

A grin eased it's way apon Logan's features, before he replied, "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking that out room is incredibly... bland. I mean, we've been living here 6 months, and this room still looks like we moved in yesterday." Kendal glanced around the room. There were still un opened boxes lying scattered across their floor, and their walls looked incredibly blank, and, well... white. Logan caught his gaze for a moment, before jumping up off of the bed.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" He asked, moving towards his night stand to grasp his keys.

"That's it be awesome it the Jeniffer's just so happened to fall into the pool braless?" Kendal answered back enthusiastically, without really thinking about what he was saying.

"Uhm, no, well, yeah that'd be awesome, but I was thinking more along the lines of a paint job? You know, our walls, maybe?" Logan said, scoffing at his friends hormones that were obviously beginning to think for him.

"Ooo, Logan! Isn't that in violation of our living contract? When'd you start breaking the rules?" Kendal teased, nudging his friend in his side.

"As long as we don't drill any holes into the walls, we aren't in any violation. Besides, I'm feeling a bit bold today," he responded matter-of-factly, before grabbing Kendals hand and pulling him towards the door. "Besides," he added, "when'd you start caring about rules?" he questioned, dragging Kendal out of their apartment and into the hallway. Kendal didn't respond; instead, he focused on the tingling feeling that had begun to spread through his body in response to Logan effectivley HOLDING his hand. He shook it off as the just his hormones reacting to the thought of a wet, braless Jennifer, even though he knew that it wasn't, and nervously chuckled at his friend.

This wasn't the first time an incident like this had occored. Kendal constantly found himself attached at the hip to Logan, with un explainable urges to just TOUCH the boy, hold him, look into his deep chocolate eyes and never look away. With touches that lingered longer than they should, casual "friend flirting" that probably meant more to him than it should, and the blush that would rise to his cheeks everytime Logan opened his mouth to sing, it's no wonder that somebody didn't find anything suspicious.

Not that there was anything to be suspicous about, Kendal thought. He wasn't gay; infact, Kendal was arguably the straightest out of the whole bunch, what with Carlos' odd fasination with Broadway, James'tendency to partake in very GIRLISH activities (see shopping, facials, and "beauty sleep") and even Logan, who had a secret addiction to Chick Flicks and Disney Princess movies.

No, he wasn't gay; he just had a soft spot for Logan. A bromance, one might say. Afterall, they had been friends since the age of 4, and knew every possible thing there is to know about eachother. There's nothing wrong with that, right?

Kendal wasn't so sure.

The elevator ride and the drive to the nearest Lowes was a blur to Kendal, any awkward silence caused by HIS silent thinking being filled with Logan's midless chatter about brushes, primers, and possible paint colors. Sometimes that boy would just not stop talking...

They entered the store quickly, an excited Logan skipping anxiously towards the brightly colored paint samples. Kendal didn't know what had gotten into his friend; not that he minded, of course. He rather liked excited Logan. The twinkle in his eyes and his cute, half grin tugged on Kendal's heart strings. He almost found Logan... beautiful. And, damnit, if that boy wasn't beautiful, then Kendal didn't know what was... but, not in a homosexual way, of course. No way.

The boys had setteled on a burnt red color, ordered a couple gallons of paint, grabbed some brushes to get the job done, and were about to start paying, before Logan nervously nuged Kendal.

"H-hey Kendal? Is that guy... is he STARING at you?" Kendal looked in the direction of Logan's anxious gaze, towards a big, burley man with long, greasy dark hair, stubble, and intesnse coffee black eyes that Kendal realized were not staring at him, but at Logan.

"Uhm, Logan... I think he's looking at you." 


	3. Brushes and Biggest Fans

Logan fidgeted nervously under the strange man's gaze, before Kendall had had enough and ushered him out of the store. But, that effort proved to be in vain, for the man immediatly set a B-line trail for the pair. Kendall could feel the man's stare penetrating into he and Logan's backsides.

"W-why is he following us?" Logan whispered nervously to Kendall, who was suddenly regretting parking for shading purposed instead of distance from the store. Kendall could faintly hear the man's footsteps creeping faster towards them. Logan quickly glanced behind his shoulder, and emmited a small whimper. That did it for Kendall.

"Dude, what. the. FUCK. is your problem?" Kendall spit out suddenly, turing towards the man who had to all but screetch to a halt as to not knock the boys over. The man looked at Kendall as if he had two heads.

"Don't play stupid. We KNOW you've been following us. What's your deal? You're making us nervous." Kendall yelled towards the man, instinctivly putting Logan a few step behind him.

The man said nothing, smiling a cheshire cat smile and stepping past Kendall, towards Logan.

"Hey there," he said in a rough voice, "haven't seen you around here before. You know, you look familiar. Have we met before?" he asked, taking yet ANOTHER step towards Logan. Logan gulped, shoving his hands deeper than his pockets would allow.

"U-uhm, no. We haven't met," he stammered, suddenly becomming incredibly fasinated with the concrete below his black chucks. He felt a hand gently grab his chin, before his eyes came in contact with coffee black.

"Come on, sugar, don't be nervous, I don't bite," he winked, snaking his arm around Logan. Kendall stood in horror as he watched this man publicly defile his best friend, his LO- ahem, just his best friend. Kendall felt the blood rush to his face, but this time it wasn't due to Logan's dimples. Clutching his fists, Kendall snapped at the man.

Grabbing the hood of the man's dull, grey hoodie, Kendall yanked him backwards, and once agin put himself between Logan and his new "biggest fan."

"Look, I don't know who the fuck you are, and quite frankly, I don't care. You do NOT put a hand on him. Got it?" Kendall whispered, every word punctuated with hate. Kendall had to stand on his tip toes to match the man's height, but he didn't care. He was to angry to care.

The man again grinned and effortlessly plucked Kendall from his hoodie. Winking at Logan, he turned around and swiftly walked towards an old blue Ford pickup. He drove by them slowley, his eyes continuing to bore in Logan's direction. Kendall didn't wait for the man to leave the parking lot. Grabbing Logan by the hand, he effectivly dragged him towards their car. Kendall made haste in putting away their supplies, before sitting the drivers seat and looking sternly at Logan.

"Hey, dude, you alright?" he asked tentivly. Logan blinked, his focus snapping towards Kendall. He could see the tense muscles in Kendall's jaw, the deep flush in his face, and his usually emerald eyes deep olive in destress and anger. He almost found them intiguing... almost.

"Wha? Oh, uhm, yeah I'm alright. Just a little spooked, I guess. I mean, I've had some crazy girls hit on me before... but I've never experienced anything like THAT," he laughed nervously, his hand moving to scratch the back of his neck. Grabbing said hand, Kendall gripped it tightly in his own.

"Don't be spooked, alright? He's gone. I'll never let anything bad happen to you," Kendall whispered in all sencerity. Logan's eyes softened as he glanced at their clasped hands. WHAT IS THIS FEELING? he thought. Logan had never felt a spark as intense as this one with ANY girl. Blushing lightly, he allowed a smile to spread onto his face as he looked back into Kendall's worried eyes.

"I know that, Kendall. Thank you. You're my best friend," he said. Kendall's jaw relaxed and the flush in his face lessened immidiatly. He patted that hand he was grasping in assurance, before driving out of the parking lot.

Hours after the incident in the parking lot, the two boys were back at their apartment, covered in red paint. They had managed to successfully put a base coat onto the walls before enganging themselves in a full out paint war. The boys were about the continue painting before they heard someone walk through the front door.

"Kendall? Logan? Ya here?" James called, dropping his towel lazily on the floor, only to have an OCD Carlos pick it back up and hang in neatly on the back of a chair.

"In here!" Logan called cheerfully. The two boys entered the room, taken aback by the new change in color.

"Wow, nice! When did you guys decide to do this?" Carlos asked, picking up a brush and painting a bright red "C" on his helmet.

"This moring. You like?" Kendall asked. Carlos and James exchanged glances before simeoultaneiouly answering.

"We like." They said, picking up a roller and helping finish the top coat.

After the top coat had been finished, the four boys lied in the center of the room, sharing the event of their days.

"So, how'd beach scoping go?" Logan asked sarcastically.

"Not so well. You'd think single girls would be drawn to us, right?" Carlos exclaimed, clutching his helmet.

"Big suprise, the girls were turned off by the migget wearing a helmet and the giant randomly showing off his "wash board abs," Kendall whispered to Logan, earning a giggle from the both of them. James scowled at the boys, before recprocating the question.

"Yeah, well what did YOU two do today, huh? Well, besides painting, at least," James spat back. Logan looked nervously as Kendall, before explaining the whole story.

"Wow, dude sounds like a total freak," Carlos said, putting his helmet back on. "I'd like to get my hands on 'em!" he kidded, jumping up in a boxing pose.

Suddenly, a forign voice sliced through the boys giggles like a butcher knife.

"Well, why don't you give it a try, sparky?" said none other than Logan's "biggest fan." 


	4. Blood and Tears

The four boys sat frozen, eyes guled to the man and the gun he was casually spinning around his fingers.

"Y-you FOLLOWED us?" Kendall whispered. The man just smiled before straightening up, causing all four boys to flinch and huddle closer together.

"Let's just say I enjoy a little game of cat and mouse," the man said smoothly, before walking towards James and grabbing a fistful of hair, yanking him up to a standing position. Yelping, because of pain or because the man was OBVIOUSLY messing up his hair, James scrabbled to grasp at the man, before comming face to face with the barrel of his gun.

"Alright, here's how everything's gonna go down. You will not move unless I tell you to. You will sit where I put you. You struggle or scream, and I shoot you. Pretty boy, helmet head," he said, grabbing Carlos roughly with his free hand,"into the closet." Carlos opened his mouth, prepared to protest, before the taste of metal graced the tip of his tounge.

The man roughly tied up James and Carlos with rope, and gagged them with James's bandana's and duck tape, before violently shoving them into a closet outside of Kendall and Logan's room.

"Alright, eyebrows, get over here," he demanded, pointing the gun at Kendall's head. He gulped loudly before crawling over to the man. He felt himself being lifted harshly by his hair, before he was backed face first into the wall. His hands were roughly tied behind his back, the rope begging to cause a rough carpet burn on his wrists. Like his friends, he was gagged with a red bandana (ironically) before being tossed against the now closed door.

"Let's see if you can defend your little friend, now," he spat, before turning towards Logan.

Logan sat, frozen solid, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. He trembled as the man crept closer to him, willing the tears that were building behind his eyes not to fall. The man sat infront of Logan, grasping his chin in his rough, calloused hand before hoisting his face up to meet his. Meeting the man's eyes, Logan saw nothing but sick, demented evil floating around his black as night iris's.

"Now, this can go down two ways," the man whispered, surprisingly gental. "You can enjoy what's about to happen, or you can struggle, and I'll leave you for dead. Is that clear?" Logan whimpered at the man's words, before being knocked over the head with his gun. The man crouched over Logan, now writhing on the floor. "I said, is. that. clear?" he whispered in Logan's ear, making him shudder.

Taking a deep breath, Logan shakily replied, "yes," before beging lazily tossed onto the bed that had been moved to the middle of the floor, right into Kendall's view.

Kendall sat there helplessly as he watched his best friend writhe in pain and in fear on the bed infront of him. Every time the man hit Logan, Kendall felt a direct blow in his heart. Every time an article of clothing was removed from the fragile brunette's body, Kendall felt all the more vulnerable. And, every time Logan let our a cry of despair, another tear would slide gracefully down Kendall's bare cheek.

By the time Logan had fully registered what was going on, he was lying on his back, in his underwear, with his hands tied behind his head. The man stripped quickly before him, taking a knife out of his pocket and setting it right next to Logan's head. His eyes widdened in fear. The man smirked, before reaching down and pulling off the last piece of clothing, and the last bit of his dignety.

"P-please," Logan begged, watching the man pull out a condom and roughly rolling in onto himself, "d-don't do this. I'm begging you," he whispered. The man only grabbed his gun and pointed it in Kendall's direction. "If you scream or struggle, I will shoot your friend. And I will make you watch." He said sternly, before roughly thrusting his index finger into Logan's entrance.

"Huh, we've got a virgin on our hands, huh? I'll tell you, I'm surprised; you boys strike me as flaming homosexuals," the man laughed, thrusting more fingers into the squirming boy under him. Logan thrashed his head from side to side, before his eyes came into contact with Kendall's. Green bore into Brown, Logan silently begging for his friend's help, and Kendall silently apologizing. Logan felt the man's finger's leave his body, and he almost felt relief, until he felt something hard and hot at his entrance. Kendall watched in horror as his friend mouthed the words "I'm sorry," as the man quickly thrusted his entire length into Logan's tight entrance.

Tears that Logan willed not to spill sprung from his eyes immediatly as he arched his back in pain. It hurt. It hurt like hell. More than hell. Logan felt like he was on fire, like he was being stabbed repeatedly, like his organ's were being ripped from his body. Every time the man thrusted, more involuntary tears sprung from Logan's eyes that were clenched shut.

Kendall could only watch as his compainion's innocence was unfairly stripped from him. He tried to free himself with no avail. I WILL HATE MYSELF FOREVER IF I CAN'T STOP THIS, he thought.

After what seemed like hours of intense pain, Logan felt the man's thrusting become erattic, before he felt himself beging filled with something hot. The man pulled out of him messily, gasping for air as he quickly dressed himself. Logan curled up on his side, away from Kendall, away from the man, and willed the rest of his tears to fall quietly.

"Well, I'll tell ya, you were the best fuck I've ever had," the man said arrogantly, before grabbing his knife and slicing Logan's side open slightly. Logan stiffened, and the man whispered in his ear, "there's more where that came from if you ever tell." He then grabbed his gun, leaving the knife on the bed, and turned away from Logan, andvancing towards Kendall.

Kendall's eyes widened as the duck tape was ripped from his mouth and he was pinned against the wall. The man sent a violent punch into Kendall's abdomen, causing the blonde boy to buckle in half. The man continued to beat Kendall, the words "try defending your friend now, you worthless piece of shit," rolling off of his tounge in a hypnotizing chant. Kendall felt the edges of his sight become blurry, before he heard Logan scream "KENDALL! LOOK OUT!" Kendall barley had time to move his head before the man suddenly stopped, and slumped forward onto Kendall's aching body. Kendall shoved the unconcoius man off of him, to find Logan standing infront of him, rope that he hadn't been able to cut off still dangling from his wrists, bloody, stark naked, and the man's knife clutched in his hands.

"Get up," Logan said quietly, turning to grab his boxers and pants. He dressed quickly, grabbing the man's gun and tossing it towards Kendall.

"Make sure he doesn't wake up. If he does, hit him or something. I'm gonna go get the others." Kendall nodded, not fully registering what had just happened. Logan limped towards the closte his friends were in and freed them silently, telling James to "call 911. Report a break in and a rape. Ask for an ambulance." James nodded and raced towards the phone, as Logan finally slid down the wall in pain, clutching his sides.

Kendall instantly forgot about their attacker and ran to Logan's side, cradling the boy as he whimpered Kendall's name and slowly drifted into unconcoiusness.

"James, tell them to hurry!" he screamed through his tears now falling heavily down his face. He felt Logan go slack in his arms. "Come on Logan, stay awake. You can do it buddy, I won't let you die," he cried.

He sat like that, rocking them both back and forth until the police came 5 minute later, whispering "Logan," through his tears.

**Author's note:**  
Wow, so I really hate myself for even thinking up this gruesome scene.  
This is actually a play by play of a nightmare I had a while ago. *shudders.*  
Anyways, the more you review, the quicker I update.

Love and Foxes,  
Bethany Rene


	5. Confessions and Happy Endings

Kendall was brought out of his flashback by a painful groan that was emitted next to him. He turned his head sharply, to see Logan, squinting into the flourescent lights above them.

"A-am I dead?" the brunette whispered hoarsly, turning his head away from the offending light. Kendall chuckled to himself, grabbing onto his IV stand and hoisting himself to his feet.

"Logan, you're not dead," he said, amused. The blonde shuffled his way towards his friend's bed, carefully placing himself beside him.

"Kendall? Wh-where are we? What happened?" Logan questioned softly, analyzing the IV that had been inserted into his wrist. Kendall's face scrunched slightly.

"You don't remember?" He asked, his fingertips drawing lazy circles on his hospital gown covered thigh. Logan's brows furrowed.

"I-I remember blood. Lot's of blood. And my side hurt. And you were c-crying, and... oh." Logan's head dropped as he remembered the days events. He quickly pulled up his gown, revealing his bandaged covered midsection. He cringed as a shooting pain rippled through his body. Kendall cleared his throat.

"Uhm, you have some broken ribs, 30 stiches in your side and 10 on your forhead. Y-you have a bit of a concussion. You passed out a little before the police came. They said you were in and out, a little bit delirous, and in shock. That was 10 hours ago." Logan nodded and twiddled his thumbs in his lap.

"Where is he?" he whispered, not meeting Kendall's eyes. Kendall swallowed apprehensively; Logan doesn't like violence. He wasn't sure how Logan would handle the man's condition, and the fact that he caused it.

"Uhm, well, he kinda-" Kendal was cut off.

"I killed him." Logan said, not as a question, but as a statement towards himself. Kendall only nodded. Logan sighed, finally lifting his eyes to Kendall's worried greens. Kendall gasped at what he saw.

Logan's eyes, normally bright, deep, and chocolate-y colored, were dull, empty, and abnormally black. The whites of his eyes were red and dull, his eye sockets drooping slighly. Kendall grabbed Logan's hand.

"Logie, it's not your fault." He whispered, gently caressing Logan's hand with his thumb.

"Yes it is. I had other options. I could've hit him with a hockey stick. I could've stabbed him somewhere else. I have over 15 medical books; I know where someone can be stabbed and not be killed. He's a sick, perverted man, and deserves to rot in prison. B-but he didn't deserve to die." Kendall let go of Logan's hand to cradle his friends face.

"You listen to me. This is NOT your fault. He got what was coming to him. You acted in self defense. Nobody blames you for anything." Kendall said sternly. Logan looked away.

"But, I blame myself. He wanted me. He h-hurt you, to get to me. You didn't deserve that; Even if he did deserve what I did to him... you didn't. I-I'm s-" Logan was silenced by Kendall's finger on his lips. Kendall couldn't help but notice that even dry and chapped, his lips were still _so_ soft.

"Don't you do that. You have nothing to be sorry for. That man? That man is INSANE. He only attacked me because of how I reacted at the hardware store. Don't you dare apologize; you have NOTHING to be sorry for." Kendall said shakily, tears beginning to well up behind his eyes. Logan suddenly looked at Kendall.

"Why _did_ you do that, Kendall? Anyone else would have made a joke about it... You took it personally... Why did you defend me like that?" Kendall felt the blush begin to fill his cheeks. Logan couldn't help but smile as his normally confident friend began to get flustered in front of him.

"Logan, you're my best friend. And nobody, I mean nobody, messes with you. Ever. I mean, I love them like my brothers, but even if it were James or Carlos trying to get at you, I'd beat them to a pulp without a second thought." Kendall leaned his forehead against Logan's, careful not to bump his stitches. "I love you Logan. More than I have ever loved anyone else. I-I'm not sure why. I mean, I like girls. But, with you... it's different. It's almost like you're part of me; When I saw that man doing those... those _things_ to you... I felt like I was being torn in half. I felt like I was dying. And, I've never felt like with anyone else, no girl, no boy, no o-" Kendall was suddenly silenced by a pair of warm lips being pressed gently to his. Kendall immediately relaxed into the kiss, using his thumbs to caress Logan's face. The kiss remained innocent, but even so, the pair felt something inside them explode. They saw fireworks behind their eyes, victorious music filled their ears as they both expressed what they had been keeping bottled inside through one kiss. When the need for oxygen began to overwhelm his lungs, Logan reluctantly pulled away. Kendall opened his eyes, meeting a pair of warm brown ones. He smiled as he saw the light begin to slowly fill Logan's eyes.

"I agree." Logan stated simply, before grabbing Kendall's hand and kissing his palm. Kendall's face broke out into a toothy grin as he grabbed Logan and gently pulled him towards his chest in a loving embrace. Kendall knew that this didn't fix Logan. He knew that his lover had a battle ahead of him, and he knew that it would be tough.

But, Kendall knew deep within his heart that as long as they had each other, somehow, they would get through it. Together.

_Suddenly, those white walls didn't seem so bad._

xxxxxxx  
oy, cheesy ending, I know, but I just couldn't help myself :]  
So, anyways, this didn't really end like I anticipated; I had planned like this huge intense sexy sex scene, but I couldn't find a place to fit it in.  
So, we'll make a deal:  
I will end this story with lemon-y goodness. BUT.  
Y'all must review like there is no tomorrow.  
Kay? Kay.

Also, sorry for the delay in updating; I just had a birthday, and some crazy shit has been going down.  
Needless to say, the '98 White Chevy Camaro I received is certainly on top of my "favorite birthday gifts" list xD

REMEMBER OUR DEAL!

Love and Foxes,  
Bethany Rene


	6. Stuffed Puppies and A New Beginning

Warnings: Angst and SMMUUUTTT :]  
Also, it's pretty long. But, I think it's worth it :]

XXXXXXXX

It had been two weeks since Kendall and Logan had been released from the hospital.

The boys had been expecting that it would be a while before Logan returned to normal. 'Traumatizing excperiences tend to stick around for a while, no matter how long ago they happened' the doctor had said to them. They had been expecting the worst: random fits, nightmares, flashbacks, depression. They weren't exepcting what actually happened.

Logan acted as though nothing had happened. The day of their release, he practically bounced to the car, and all but sat on Kendall's lap the whole ride home. He was talkative, he cracked jokes, and he seemed happier than he was BEFORE the attack.

And, it pissed Kendall the fuck off.

Not that he didn't enjoy seeing the love of his life happy. Because he did. Logan's laugh was infectious, his smile could light a cave, and his singing voice was infact the voice of an angel, Kendall concluded.

But, at the end of the day, when Kendall looked into Logan's eyes, they were cold. Dark. Empty.

And Kendall couldn't stand it.

He didn't understand why Logan was keeping up a facade that nobody expected him to make. He didn't understand Logan's sudden EAGERNESS to engage in less than appropriate activities. (Not that they had fucked, but to be honest, the way Logan's behind would less than descreetly grind into his lap when he was perched on it made it clear that he was more than willing to do the latter.)

But, what Kendall couldn't understand the most was why his newly named boyfriend refused to talk to him about it. He failed every attempt to reach the boy, who would just vigerously shake his head, and move to the next topic. Kendall didn't want to make Logan feel uncomfortable, but he also didn't want Logan to have some sort of mental breakdown.

Kendall was just about to give up, until one night, two weeks and three days to the date of Logan's rape.

It had been a normal day... Well, as normal as things could have been. The boys went back to the studio for the first time since the attack, and it all went very smoothly, much to everyone's surprise. Gustavo offered Kendall and Logan more time off if they needed it, but Logan quickly brushed the idea off of the table, claiming that 'everything was alright now,' and grasped at Kendall's hand.

Kendall had been awoken by an cause unknown to him at 4:17 in the morning. He noticed breifly that the brunette boy usually plastered to his side was missing. He assumed that he was in the bathroom, and strolled to the kitchen to grab a quick snack. His stroll was cut short when he heard a quiet sob escape from the bathroom.

Kendall's body was instantly pressed to the door, his fists quietly knocking on it. He jiggled the handle, trying to open the door with no avail.

"Logan?" He asked quietly. His only response was a quiet sniffle emitted behind the door.

"Logan, baby, please let me in." He asked gently.

"I-I'm fine, Kendall. Go back to sleep." A hoarse voice replied, oddly cold. Kendall huffed, before going to his wallet that had been placed on the kitchen table. He grabbed his credit card quickly and began to wedge it between the locked door and the wall.

"Logan, you're crying. You're not fine," He said, successfully unlocking the door. He opened the door softly, revealing an unmasked Logan. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair was frazzled, and you could clearly see the trail marks that his tears left behind on his reddened cheeks.

But, what broke Kendall's heart was the sight of Logan, crouched in the corner, cradling the stuffed puppy that Kendall had givin him on Logan's fifth birthday.

"Oh, Logan," Kendall whimpered, shutting the door behind him and briskly walking to Logan's side. He wrapped his arms around the shaking boy, pulling him close. Logan instantly coiled into Kendall, sobbing freely as the blonde stroked his hair, cooing to him every once in a while.

After what seemed like hours, Logan finally calmed down enough to speak.

"Why are you doing this, Logan?" Kendall whispered. Logan instantly knew what he was talking about, and took a deep breath.

"I had figured that if I acted as though nothing was wrong, nothing would BE wrong, you know? I wanted to skip the whole scarred, depressed, screaming when everyone touched me stage, and just get right to when I would be better. I didn't want to hassle anyone. I- I didn't want to burden you." Logan's voice cracked at the last sentence. He felt something wet hit the top of his head, and he looked up to see tears slowly dripping down Kendall's face. Kendall propped himself up infront of Logan, placing his hands on the boys knees.

"Baby, you won't be burdening ANYONE. Infact, you've been scaring us. Scaring me. It's so obvious that you've been pretending, and it's so obvious that it's painful. Logan, when you hurt, I hurt. It's okay to be scared. To be angry. To be hurt. You have every right to be. But, you don't have to hide. You can talk to me. You can cry on my shoulder. I want you to. It's why I'm here." Kendall stoked his boyfriend's knees comfortingly, urging him to say something. Fresh tears began to flow freely out of Logan's brown eyes, as he looked into green.

"I'm sorry, Kendall," he whispered. Kendall could only gape at him.

"Logan, I told you that-"

"I know. But still. I'm sorry that I scared you. I'm sorry that I put you through this mess. I'm sorry that you're up at 4:30 in the morning. I'm sorry that I'm not pure for you. I'm so sorry," he sobbed, burrying his face in his hands. Kendall hiccupped as his sobs came on stronger, shaking his shoulders. He grabbed Logan, pulling him closer to him and brought him to eye level.

"Is that what this is about? That you're not PURE for me? Logan, you're not dirty!" He exclaimed a bit to loud. Logan could only shake his head.

"But, I am. Kendall... I wanted to give my innocence to someone that I loved, someone who meant a lot to me... I wanted to give it you," He whispered, pleadingly looking into Kendall's eyes. "But, he took it. He took it away from me... but more importantly, he took it away from you. And now I'm dirty. AndI'msososorryforeverything!" The last sentence came in one long, drawn out wail. Kendall clutched him to his chest, rocking them both back and forth.

"Logan, baby, baby, it's okay. Tell me something. Did you enjoy it?" Kendall asked. Logan shook his head. "Did you give your consent?" The same answer. "Then, he didn't take anything from you. Virginity is something that is shared. It doesn't count when it's taken from you." Kendall pulled back, looking deep into Logan's bloodshot, chocolate eyes. "Is that why to apoligized before, when you were being... well, you know..." Logan nodded weakly.

"Logan, I would love you even if you've had sex with every other breathing human on the earth. It doesn't matter to me if you're pure, because in my eyes, you are, because you haven't done it with someone you love. And, if you love me, then we will share BOTH of our virginities, because it will be OUR first time, and it will be special, and nothing else will count." Kendall cried, slighly shaking Logan. Logan pondered this, his tears stopping as hit bit his lip.

"C-could you show me that?" Logan asked meekly. Kendall looked at him in disbelief.

"Logan, are you sure-"

"Kendall, I need you. I need THIS. I can still taste him, still smell him, still FEEL him... Please, make him go away," He pleaded. Kendall didn't need to be told twice. Kendall grabbed Logan's head, crushing their lips together in a searing kiss. Logan fisted the front on Kendall's shirt, lifting them both to their feet as they passionatly kissed, forgetting all about the stuffed puppy, the last remnant of his innocence. Logan felt himself being moved, until he was pressed again the door of their shared bedroom. Kendall's tounge swept across Logan's lips, begging for entrance. Logan opened his mouth, hooking his leg around Kendall and bringing their lower bodies closer together. The both let out quiet groans as their hips crashed deliciously.

Kendall suddenly felt the urge to touch Logan's skin, to FEEL his bareness on his. He gripped Logan's night shirt tightly and tugged it off, breaking their kiss off to move to his lovers neck. Kendall left sloppy kisses on Logan's creamy neck, paying special attention to the spots that made Logan moan in a manner that Kendall craved. He peppered kisses lower until he reached his collarbone, at which he softly bit down on. Kendall wanted the world to know that this boy, this BEAUTIFUL BOY, was propery of someone else. Logan gasped, grinding his hips into Kendall's, creating friction in all of the right places, making the blonde boy groan against Logan's heated skin.

Kendall felt Logan tug at Kendall's collar. He pulled back and quickly stripped himself of his T-shirt, before grabbing Logan's hips and pushing his night pants off of them. Logan quickly stepped out of the plaid cloth and attacked Kendall, ravashing his mouth with sloppy kisses. Kendall chuckled and pushed Logan back just enough to bring his swollen lips to his ear.

"Easy, tiger. We've got a night," he whispered, licking the shell of Logan's ear. Logan whimpered and shuddered, blindly grasping for Kendall's basketball shorts. Kendall caught his shaking hands and placed them on his hips. Logan ran his fingers around the wasteband of his shorts before all but ripping them off of Kendall's body.

Kendall laughed out loud and placed a hand on Logan's chest, pushing him back on the bed and crawling seductivly on top of him. Logan breathed heavily as Kendall kissed his heaving chest, moving towards his now hardened nipples. Logan arched into Kendall as the bigger boy took the pick nub into the wet confinds of his mouth. The gasping brunette cluctch Kendall's shoulders as one of Kendall's hands moved to tweak Logan's other nipple. Logan gasped, grabbing Kendall's head and pulling him back up for another electrifying kiss.

"Kendall..." he whispered, pressing his knee againts Kendall's growing crotch.

"Oh shit, Logan!" Kendall moaned, grinding into his lovers knee. Logan smirked, and continued his mistrations before his knee was pinned, as well as his other extremadies, to the bed.

"This is about you, Logan. Let ME, take care of YOU," Kendall practically purred, snaking his hand down to stroke Logan through his boxers.

"Oh God, Kendall... more," Logan whinned, straining against Kendall's grip on his hands. Kendall winked at him before kissing his way lower, licking in and around his bellybutton and teasingly removing Logan's boxers. Kendall could practically SEE the blush on Logan as his looked his nude form up and down. Logan tried to hide himself in discomfort by crossing his legs, but was stopped by Kendall kissing his thigh and grabbing one of his knees.

"Don't hide from me; You're beautiful, and I'll be damned if I let you go around thinking you're anything less than that," Kendall whispered. Logan felt tears of love and admiration begin to prick his eyes. Kendall placed one last kiss on his thigh before moving to Logan's hardening member and kissing the tip.

"Oh fuck, Kendall, d-don't tease," Logan begged, arching up at Kendall's face. Kendall smirked and held Logan's hips down, before taking Logan's head into his mouth and slowly sliding down to his base.

"Oh fuck!" Logan gasped, throwing a hand over his mouth to keep from moaning to loud. Kendall chuckled, causing vibrations to run through Logan's body. Logan tried to buck up into Kendall's mouth, to make him MOVE FASTER, but couldn't overcome Kendall's strong hold on his hips.

Kendall began to bob his head up and down slowly, running his tounge along Logan's shaft, paying special attention to what made him squirm. Logan threaded his fingers through Kendall's blonde locks.

"K-ken, I-I'm gonna," Logan babbled. Kendall stoped suddenly, and Logan whined at the loss of friction.

"K-Kendall, please," he begged. Kendall kissed Logan quickly before reaching onto his drawer and taking out a small foil square and a tube.

"You planned this?" Logan questioned, quirking an eyebrow at Kendall. Kendall only shrugged.

"I hoped for it," he replied pointedly. He quickly opened the foil square before it was snatched out of his hand.

"Let me," Logan purred, before slowly rolling the rubber glove onto Kendall's length. Kendall moaned at the friction, grabbing the sheets next to Logan's shoulder tightly with one hand.

"Jesus, Kendall, you're so... endowed," Logan's eyes grew as Kendall prepared himself with the lubrication, generously coating his fingers.

"Are you surprised?" He asked, smirking as he brought one coated finger to the brim of Logan's opening.

"This might hurt a bit," Kendall said, before slowly pushing his index finger into Logan. Logan gripped his finger tightly, and Kendall could have came right there at the thought of his... Kendall stopped the thought to look down at Logan.

"Are you okay?" Logan nodded, his brow furrowed. Logan tried to relax his muscles as much as he could to allow another one of Kendall's fingers into his opening.

Moments passed, and Kendall had three fingers inside a writing Logan, brushing along his prostate enough to make his head spin, but not enough to give him release.

"God damnit, Kendall, I need MORE," he said sternly, thrusting his hips down onto Kendall's fingers. Kendall nodded and pulled out, lubricating his member, and placing his head at the rim of Logan's entrance.

"If I hurt you, or you want to stop, tell me, and we'll stop." Logan nodded and wiggled his hips, looking for the friction that he so desperatly needed. Kendall placed his forehead on Logan's and pushed in slowly. Both let out loud, simulanious moans as Kendall let himself sink into Logan's tight heat. Kendall desperatly tried to hold still, to let Logan adjust to his size, but eventually his need began to overwhelming.

"P-please tell me you're okay," Kendall panted.

"Oh Kendall, please MOVE," Logan wailed, wrapping his legs tighly around Kendall's waist. Kendall complied and began thrusting slowly, searching for that one spot that would send Logan into euphoria.

"OH SHIT KENDALL! OH GOD!" Logan shreiked, bucking up against Kendall. FOUND IT, he smirked to himself. Kendall drove the hammer home, pounding in and out of the boy who was now gripping the bedpost behind him so hard that his knuckles turned white. With one hand, Kendall grabbed Logan's, pulling it from the bedpost and lacing it with his own, and with the other, he began to jerk Logan off in rythem with his thrusts.

"Kendall, I'm gonna come..." he panted, squeezing Kendall's hand so hard it could have cut off circulation.

"Let go, baby," He whispered, his thrusts becomming erratic as he too neared his climax.

"I-I love you Kendall," Logan whispered, before screaming Kendall's name and releasing his load in between their stomaches. Logan's release brough on Kendall's, and he bit into Logan's shoulders as the shallowly rode out his orgams. When both of the panting boys came down from their high, Kendall slowly pulled out of Logan and began cleaning Logan's mess with a discarded rag that was on his tableside.

"That...was..." Logan started.

"Amazing." Kendall finished, throwing the dish rag aside and kissing Logan chastly. Logan settled into Kendall's side, drawing lazy circles on the boy's stomach.

"Thank you, Kendall." He whispered, resting his head on Kendall's sweaty shoulder.

"No problem, Logie," he breathed, pushing his hair out of his face. "I love you, too." The boys were brought out of their moment by a banging noise that came from the outside of their door.

"DUDE. It's 5 in the morning, and I already SMELL the gross boy juice. If you two are DONE, I'd like to get back to sleep, please," Katie whispered angrily on the other side of the door. Logan's faced flushed as Kendall chuckled at his sister.

"Sorry Katie. Goodnight," he sang. He heard her huff and walk away. Kendall looked back at his little lover with all of the love he could muster.

"This isn't going to be easy," Logan said. Kendall nodded.

"It's going to be a long process," He added.

"But, I will be here, every step of the way. Don't you forget that," Logan smiled and nodded at his best friend, before slowly drifting off into sleep.

"Oh, and I found THIS in the bathroom," Kendall heard Katie say, before Logan's stuffed puppy was thrown onto their bed.

Kendall smiled, grabbed the toy, and tucked in in between himself and Logan. The smaller boy cuddled into Kendall, smiling softly in his sleep.

Somehow, it'll all be okay.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx TADA! THE END!  
Haha, well this took me about two hours to write, and I'm very proud of it, if I do say so myself.  
This is my first ever smut scene, so please give me feedback so I can develope.

This story was origionally going to be a oneshot, but here we are at Chapter 6. I wanted to thank everyone so much for all of the support, and for welcoming my first story with open arms.

I hope I didn't disappoint!  
If anyone has any requests, i.e. pairings, plot, whatever, just tell me what you want to read, and I'll try my best to write it.

Love and Foxes,  
Bethany Rene


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